Tomorrow

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Tomorrow would be my mother’s 85th birthday, if she were alive. She died when she was just 66, from cancer in the lining of her lungs. They say she got it from inhaling cleaning fluids. That makes sense, Mom cleaned all the time. It also tells you why I don’t and when I do, I don’t buy anything that isn’t green. If I can’t clean green, I don’t clean.

Mom and I had a lot of issues, but it wasn’t anything personal. She had issues with absolutely everybody. My aunt told me, when Mom was dying, that Mom wanted to be just like her Aunt Libby. And Aunt Libby was only happy if she was giving someone Hell. Well Mom learned that personality trait real well.

We took turns, first my sister and I and my Dad and then when my sister left home, Dad and I. One of us was always in trouble with Mom. She wouldn’t get down on both of us at the same time, because she had to have someone to talk to so she could run the other one down. It was a horrific way to grow up.

But now she’s gone. I know that she was an unhappy person and she never figured out one thing about the truth of living. She read the Bible daily, she had little books of Bible sayings. They didn’t cut the crap one little bit. She would read this drivel (sorry) about how you should love your brother as yourself, and then she would complain that other people weren’t doing it right???????? She always saw other people’s failings in her readings, but never her own. It never dawned on her at all that she might have a fault or two.

Twenty years ago, on her 65th birthday, my son and I traveled down to where they lived. It was an 8 hour drive. We went out to eat for her birthday. My son, little idiot that he is, was begging food from his grandmother. Of course, I got in trouble because my son was misbehaved. I was at fault because my son asked her for something. It was my problem. He was overcompensating. Blah blah blah blah blah.

That night I gave her her card. It had $50 in it. She didn’t even thank me, but looked at Dad and said something about how she thought he could at least buy her a card for her 65th birthday. Oh boy, here we go again. She also said that from that day on she was only living for herself and no one else. God said no. He said sorry, you’re going to die in less than two years. You will be gone.

The next morning it was time to leave, thank God. I told my son to not eat one thing – nothing. I told him we would stop and eat after we left and we’d have a nice peaceful breakfast. We did that. We got out of there and I fed him without taking crap for him eating ……….

So poor Mom. She’s 85 tomorrow and I have few good memories but lots of harsh ones. I’m sorry we didn’t get along better, but I tried until I thought my back would break from bending over backwards. I had to stop trying to save my sanity. I wish I could have told her, all those years ago, that she didn’t need to be unhappy. But she wouldn’t have heard me anyway ……… I was one of the problems.

I hope you have a better life now Mom.

Twins

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Many of us had imaginary friends as young children. If your imaginary friend grew up alongside you, what would his/her/its life be like today? (Didn’t have one? write about anon-imaginary friend you haven’t seen since childhood.)

I didn’t have an imaginary friend when I was little. I had a wild imagination, but I didn’t people it with people. I peopled it with visions. I used to lull myself to sleep with visions of me in clothes I designed. Shallow, I know.

I think you could safely say I’m a grown up now. I didn’t grow up until the last few years. Isn’t that silly, a woman in her 50s finally growing up. Well, I had to. In some ways, not in others. I am eternally youthful in my inner self, my not so secret self. I am around 15 but the body, the knees and yes those tiny little wrinkles …….. they tell me I’m not 15 anymore.

But what of my friend, the one I needed and wanted and knew was there, somewhere. I have met him, finally. He’s the one I always knew was out there, somewhere. We grew up separate, but we are so much alike. And we have finally found each other.

He’s all grown up now too. We would have had a lot of fun together as kids, but we would have gotten into a lot of trouble. We could also have saved each other a lot of trouble if we’d met sooner.

Who knows if we did meet earlier, what would have happened? What would have changed in our lives? Maybe some of the trauma we both experienced could have been avoided, maybe it was just our karma to live through what we did before we met.

He married, had children, divorced. I married, had a child and stayed married. I lived my life in a haze of despair for much of that time. And he did too. His despair almost swamped him, before he figured it out, before he figured out that what he thought was good for him was just an illusion. I found that I was living my life half dead. Not participating in joy, not participating in a real life, I just went through life in a haze. I woke up when I met him. It’s like he’s the Handsome Prince and I am Sleeping Beauty. A true fairy tale ………

And when we met, I recognized him immediately. I couldn’t tell you why. I just knew this was someone I know as well as I know myself. It was an instantaneous recognition. For him too, this knowing each other. Within days of starting to talk, being together, we knew that whatever this is, it’s supposed to be. And it is supportive, it is something neither one of us wants to lose. We feel like we’ve come together finally after way too long apart. It’s as if we made an agreement to find each other – it’s a shame it wasn’t sooner – but we found each other when we did. Since we both believe that things happen at the right time, it must be the right time.

When I met my friend, we were thrilled to have someone on the same wavelength spiritually. It is so pleasant to have someone to talk to about your beliefs, your desires, the very core of who you are. And we did and do. We also found a connection psychically where I will have premonitions and he will have the same one. We get information, we see events and things at the same time. It is as if he is my mirror and I am his.

For all those years I wanted someone who could understand me. The understanding between us is simple, not complex, just there. It just is. And it’s like a completion, like the path I had and the path he had led us here, to the path we have now.

I must say it’s a path with rocks and stones, things that could make us trip and fall, but it is a beautiful path. If we can stand upright and not trip ………. it is a beautiful path.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/imaginary-friend/

Road Map

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It used to annoy me to read so-called self-help books. They seemed to repeat the same old platitudes over and over. After a bit, I quit paying attention. My error was thinking a self-help book would give me answers. They don’t.

What they did give me, all those books by Deepak Chopra, was a road map. It took years before I could read the book and THEN act on the information in that book. I was reading it, I wasn’t feeling it.

I call my enlightenment the “Hit” which is how it felt. One day I just got it. I stopped reading about enlightenment, about the steps to enlightenment, about meditating for enlightenment and I just got it. There was such a feeling of release with that. I no longer was anxious. I let life go in its own way, I took every day as it is. It’s a much better way to live than anticipating everything that might go wrong and trying to avoid it at all costs.

Now I want everyone to get the hit. To finally become happy in the moment, to not worry about what will happen or what did happen is a miraculous way to live. And that’s one of the reasons I write. I might write something that speaks to one person one day, and that’s enough for me.

So how do you get comfortable, get content, stop worry and anxiety? It’s useless for me to tell you to quit worrying. It seems to be a natural reaction to a world that is so chaotic. So many things happen each day that we are bombarded with on the news. How did we ever invent a system which has only the transmission of negative information as its purpose? Doesn’t that seem bizarre? I mean why did we do that?

Back in the 50s and 60s, we didn’t get bombarded by mass killings in other states or other horrors in other parts of the world 24 hours a day. We had one station on our TV at home, and that continued way into the 70s. My parents got satellite TV in 1996. Before that they got 3 stations. They watched the nightly newscasts, but they didn’t get the excess trauma thrown in to fill up time.

Getting to the point where you live only mindfully, only in the moment, only now, means you will have to stop your mind talking to you about doom. You can train your mind to do this. You do that in meditation, but you can do it without meditation. You just watch your thoughts. It’s called witnessing, a way of stepping back from the thoughts in your mind and just watching them scroll across your mind and disappear. Don’t try to stop your thoughts and don’t grab onto them. Just let them move in and out …… fluctuate and dissipate. Stand back mentally from them.

The whole reason for witnessing your thoughts and living in the moment is to develop the habit of a calm mind, one that doesn’t lead you into anxiety and stress. Your mind is under your control, once you let it know you’re the boss, that is.

When you get a thought that makes you worried, stop and let it go. Then concentrate on what you are doing in this minute. If you are doing the dishes, pay attention to those dishes. If you are brushing your teeth, pay attention to those teeth. Bring yourself down out of your mind into your body. Pay attention to whatever it is you’re doing. That’s mindfulness. And once you get into the habit of only paying attention to where you are this moment and what you are doing this moment, it will get easier and easier. You will notice when you’re not there, when you are thinking about tomorrow or next week or the next big hurdle you might have to face. And then you stop, take a deep breath, let it go and get back to the moment, not the past or the future.

If you look at our world today, you will see billions of people who are trapped. They are trapped in worry, anxiety, fear. They don’t have a way out of horrible circumstances. Can you imagine being a refugee from Syria in a tent camp? Trying to feed your family when there is no food and when you have to fight for that food? Can you imagine their lives? Now, think about how you have the blessing of being able to work on getting peaceful, mindful and out of anxiety. Be grateful that, although you may have challenges in life, you do not have the challenges given to those refugees. You have been given the gift of being able to be mindful. And by being mindful, you change your future, you make living joyful and then you can go on to help others learn to be mindful, give joy to their lives, help just a little tiny corner of the world.

If we can change just one little tiny corner, and if we that can do this, then pretty quickly the world can change. We can make it better. We can be mindful, be joyous, and spread that joy over all the planet. It’s much better than worrying about tomorrow – take today, make it beautiful and it will spread out and make your whole life beautiful ………

Almost a Sweater

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This is what almost 17″ of stockinette stitch looks like ……… and there are almost 300 stitches in a row. This goes on forever. So far I’ve used just a little bit over 420 yards of yarn.

When it grows up, this is what my sweater will look like,

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and yes, it is kind of oversized and boxy (that’s the name too) but it’s a great wearing sweater on freezing cold days in Maine.

I had looked at Malabrigo yarn when I first started knitting. I wasn’t sure how the single ply would be to work with – actually I wasn’t sure about anything. I decided against trying it and then other yarn desires got in the way and I never purchased any. Until it came time for this sweater, which is the worsted weight version of one Boxy in fingering weight that I’ve already completed and worn a lot and another Boxy in fingering weight that’s still on my needles. I decided to give Malabrigo a try.

It is absolutely the softest yarn I’ve ever worked with. It’s quite a change going back and forth between this and my gray Boxy which is out of Brooklyn Tweed Loft, a rough Targhee Columbia wool that is 2-ply. The Loft sweater feels rough to the hands when I’m knitting, but the fabric is beautiful. I love the way it’s working up in that yarn.

This yarn is special though and I know I will buy lots more of it for many more sweaters. I have so many favorites on Ravelry, I don’t know which one to start next. I have promised myself to finish this one, the gray Boxy and also to get the neck band finished and sewn on this sweater, which has been languishing since last March,

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The sweater is complete, I just have around 6″ to do on the collar, plus sew it on. And then it will look like this,

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which I think is a great cardigan. I do wish I’d chosen the brown colors instead of the blue, but I always go for blue ……… so ………..

That’s my update on knitting and now that the rains are here and the winds are blowing, there will be more to come.

There Will be No Eclipse Sighting Here

partial-solar-eclipseI won’t see the partial solar eclipse on October 23. Sigh. I live in northern New England, where the sun will go down before the eclipse starts. I don’t think I would have seen it anyway, since we’re going to have that lovely nor’easter coming up the coast, making us wet and windy for days. And cloudy, which will block any sight of the night sky.

I caught a report on the expected weather for the coming winter. I was glad to see we’re not going to have a repeat of last year. I think if we got a repeat of that winter, we’d all be heading out of Maine, going somewhere warm, where the sun shines ……. it was a horrid winter.

The guys from my oil company came this afternoon and fixed my mini-split heat pump. For some reason it would cut out whenever I ran it on heat but it would work on air conditioning. Go figure, I know nothing about these things. But it had a leak – a tiny minuscule leak near where the tubing went into the copper pipe. And that was creating my broken little heat pump.

I had a pretty big fall-out with my oil company because of this piece of equipment. They got pissed and shut off my propane because I got pissed and told them off. They are such nice people and I do say that sarcastically. The repair guys are awesome. One of the guys came today who was here installing it a year ago. And the best news? The company is footing the bill for the repair. They’ve already sent me an invoice for the first repair call. And I’m sure I’ll have to call, talk to six or seven people and get that bill removed. But I will do it because $90 will buy almost 30 gallons of oil. My tank holds 280.

Supper tonight is going to be a comfort supper, cheddar potato soup and biscuits. I think we can get by on that just fine tonight. I had thought I would make homemade macaroni and cheese but the idea of all that fat hitting my body stopped me. I have to seriously stop and think before I make something that ridiculously fattening. It tastes marvelous, but honestly who eats like that? Or who should eat like that?

Now I am not talking about macaroni and cheese made by Kraft. That stuff is bizarre with its bright orange cheese sauce. My husband used to be a big cheese at Kraft. At least that’s what I called him. He fixed a machine in order to take the bubbles out of squeeze a snack. Can you imagine how important that job was? It really was because they couldn’t sell the cheese with bubbles in it for some reason.

Before too long I will be making my son shred cheddar cheese and I will be putting together the cheese sauce, the pasta and baking it with buttered bread crumbs and parmesan on top. It is something my husband truly hated eating and something Ben and I both love. So we eat it more often now.

And it’s about time for a nice pot of beef stew, slow cooked in the oven for 2 or 3 hours, blending the carrots, potatoes and onions until they are just barely soft. Simmering in a thick gravy with pieces of beef ……. I know I’m macrobiotic now, but Ben can eat this and I can watch him. There are things I like, even though I don’t want to eat them anymore. And stew is one of them. Bacon is the other – I do miss bacon. Luckily there’s Smart Bacon which is pretty good and Morning Star Farms which isn’t bad either. They are bacon flavored something. As long as I get the bacon flavor, I don’t care what they are.

I have 16 of 20 inches done on my sweater. I have to get to 20 inches so I can divide it for the front and back. This sweater is knit from the bottom up so the last bits are the only bits where any knitting skill is required. I’m starting to feel quite accomplished as a knitter now, with 4 pair of socks and two sweaters completed. I don’t knit fast, but everything gets done when it should. I do love doing it while I’m watching TV. I like the feel of the yarn slipping through my fingers and the rhythmic clicking of the needles. And eventually, I have a sweater. A sweater which costs me about 6 times what I would pay for one in a store, but then hey I wouldn’t have the fun of making it, right? Or so I tell myself as I hit the button to buy more yarn ………..

I’ve already made plans for Christmas. Of course it would be perfect if someone I know would come here for Christmas, but that probably isn’t going to happen. However, I will still have company for Christmas.

Since I lost my mother and father – and my father, dear man, died on Christmas Eve, Christmas hasn’t been that joyful. We don’t have a big family so it’s been a quiet holiday, by ourselves. This year I’ve invited Kay to come down on Christmas Eve and spend the night. I will have someone besides Ben and I to cook for – and I do love cooking for the holidays. I will cook and bake my heart out. I will be in the kitchen for days. I will love it. And then we’re going to watch funny movies to keep us from getting depressed (the holidays can be SO depressing) and we’re going to eat ourselves silly. It sounds like a plan to me. She needs company and we need company – it’s just going to be perfect. Well, as perfect as it can be without my special someone here for Christmas anyway.

So those of you who can see the eclipse? Will you take a picture? Snap it on your phone and do a post ………… I won’t be able to see it here.

Expanding Consciousness

Blue_energy-blogThe World Series starts tonight! In your own life, what would be the equivalent of a walk-off home run? (For the baseball-averse, that’s a last-minute, back-against-the-wall play that guarantees a dramatic victory.)

I used to love baseball. I haven’t watched a game in years. Something about the slowness of it all, the lack of any action, gets on my nerves now. It’s the same as just sitting still for me. I don’t like sitting still, in one place, not moving around. That might be why I didn’t like working for someone else …….. too much enforced time control.

I have one basic goal in my life now. And that’s to know more about reality. Not the mundane reality of the world I see on television or read about in the news, but the real reality. The Cosmic Consciousness, Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva ….. I want to know how to live in complete oneness with the Cosmic Consciousness.

I want to learn how to alleviate suffering I see in others, not by taking it on for them, but by helping them get through the veil from the unreal, harsh, temporal world into the place where nothing has ever been created and nothing ever dies. I want to be a vehicle of learning, teaching, discovery.

From time to time, I experience an immense feeling of joy. I’m in sync with the Universe, I’m in the flow. And then with no warning, I’m out, I’m out of the moment, I’m down again. A grand slam for me would be never coming down again. Always experiencing that joy, always being in a state of grace.

There is only one way to do that, to keep that innocent joy alive. And that’s by being mindful, being in the moment, not projecting desires on the future. Accepting what is. Not looking for more in the moment, just accepting what’s here, what’s here now.

I have been on this spiritual path for years. Every once in a while I would leave it. I would get back into the world and try to exist in that realm. Trouble would ensue. I would feel out of place, like I didn’t belong, like most of me wasn’t there. And I was right – nothing of me was there.

I’ve always felt that I am alone. This hasn’t always been a thought of needing a relationship, rather a thought of having no one to talk to about these things. About spirit, life, Vedanta and the Cosmic Consciousness. I’ve wanted that communion of the spirit with another.

My husband, that dear man, was intrinsically not interested in a spiritual life. He’d been raised in a Catholic orphanage and he learned the pilgrim work ethic well. For him, life was work.

And now I’ve met someone who has lived on the spiritual path for a while. He’s someone with whom I can share my questions, my insight, my psychic visions. He doesn’t question them or act like I’m weird and maybe from another planet. Together we’re the Grand Slam – as long as we can keep “real” life out of the equation, “real” life that pulls us both down and into Maya, we’re the Grand Slam. Finally.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/grand-slam/

Down Out of the Storm

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When I was little, my mother and father would take me to Joy Land. It was a tiny amusement park on Route 45 between Urbana and Rantoul. They had a roller coaster. I loved that roller coaster. It wasn’t big, it didn’t have curves so high I got sick looking at them, like the ones at Six Flags, but it was my favorite little ride. I was little, after all.

I’ve always like the ups and downs, the spins and turns. I felt most alive when things in my life were constantly changing. I didn’t want things to stay the same – going home on Friday after school, going grocery shopping with Mom, spending Friday night watching something stupid on TV. On Saturdays Mom would take me to the library and I would look for books on astrology or witchcraft. I always wanted to read something about control – control of myself or control of others, it didn’t matter.

My life has been full of ups and downs and I wonder if that roller coaster planted something in me that made me need those highs and lows. Or was it ingrained? I don’t know. I do know I like excitement, change and heightened awareness. And then I have to rest, then I go into the lows, down in the valley and rest.

Control is a horrible habit to get into. Seriously, there isn’t anything in this world that CAN be controlled. I have spent my life in isolation, not wanting to be controlled and not wanting to control. I didn’t know I was controlling my life by refusing to live.

When I was 12 or so, I forgot how to have plain, simple fun. I didn’t want to “hang out” with a large group of people – and that probably came from the fact that I was treated poorly by my peers. I was the brainy one, the one with the answers, the one with the good grades. I was made fun of, called teacher’s pet, made to feel unacceptable because I cared about learning. I learned that I did care about learning, but I didn’t care about those kids that made me feel badly. I ignored them.

As a teenager, I perfected ignoring people. I got so good at it that no one could touch me. They got no emotional reaction from me, no matter how mean they were. I just floated around my high school, being news editor of the school paper, working at the drugstore with the 3 or 4 people I trusted, just blocking myself off from the rest.

I used to walk down the hallways at Champaign Central without my glasses on. It wasn’t vanity, I think, although I did go for contacts the moment I could. No, it wasn’t vanity. It was because if I didn’t have my glasses on, I could only see people when they were up close to me. Those at a distance faded into the background. I liked it that way.

After I came back from my first attempt at university, I went out with a guy from high school. He shocked me when he told me that I was the object of much desire in the school. Really? I had no way of knowing ……. I couldn’t see anybody. But I knew why I was desirable to them then. I was mysterious. I wasn’t a part of anything, I didn’t socialize and I wasn’t a part of a group. I was just me.

And now here I am, heading into the last years of my life. I am not at all concerned about being at this point. Age is relative. I still want to lose control. I feel like I’ve been holding the world up for my family for years, and I have. I am the responsible one, which makes me laugh when I think about it. At one point I resented this, thinking that I should have married a strong man, not someone who gave in, let me take over. But then I think how horrible that would have been, how I wouldn’t have liked being the “little woman” while this strong man took care of me. I needed to be in charge even though the job got tough, the job was too much and I was tired.

Soon I will have less family to take care of and to protect. My husband will be gone, maybe before his time, but he will die hard. This illness of his will guarantee that. He won’t go easy. I think I’ve always known he wouldn’t let loose of the reigns of life quickly. He’s always been determined, stubborn and single-minded. But he will be gone. My son will be on his own at some point in the near future and I will be just me, alone with my cat, taking care of me.

For the first time since I was 26, I will only have to please myself. I can quit sublimating what I want for the greater good of the family. And I want to learn to please myself without living a half-life, a life restricted to the shadows, a life without my glasses on.

I’ve come down from the storm. It’s still raining. But once the clouds move away, I want to be out there, in the sun, fully living my life………… in the moment.

Sock Knitting and a Metaphor of My Life

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I’ve had a couple of sock failures in my knitting life recently. One I was almost finished with and I looked at it and somehow I had a big hole. A big hole I didn’t know how to fix. Rip.

Then I started with another yarn. It looks a lot better in the skein that it does in stockinette stitch. It looked more brown and green in the sock, not at all what I thought it would look like. You can’t always tell, can you?

I got that sock up to about 5″ into the cuff and there was this weird group of stitches in one place that looked odd. I have no idea what I did. I knew I couldn’t undo it, so once again it got ripped. I’ve yet to get another sock on the needles.

Sock knitting is a metaphorical description of how my life’s been going too. For the last few months something has been added, taken away, added, taken away ………. I have whiplash. I don’t look for the circumstances to be added again. I think that phase of my life has ended and probably none to soon.

And today I’m tired. It’s cold here, colder than it has been in a while. We’re expecting a nor’easter in a couple of days. So soon for those nasty storms to head up the coast. Thank God it will be rain, but it will be an enormous amount of rain and wind. The leaves will really fall when it hits.

And a nor’easter might just blow out the last remnants of the circumstances in my life that have been making me more unhappy than happy. That would be a big relief for me, unhappiness not being something I want to live through every few days or even every few months. I truly believe that life should flow easily, that there shouldn’t be constant tension and if there is, something has to change.

I don’t need excited, euphoric happiness, but I do need a calm, peaceful existence. As my friend says, I have a lot on my plate. Adjusting to the impending death of my husband, knowing that when he does die I will feel as if I had no clue it was going to happen, wondering how much my life will change again once he’s gone, helping my son cope with the loss of his father – these are all things in my future. I can’t really rehearse them now, although I have tried. They just have to happen when they happen and I’ll have to live it as it comes.

But, in the meantime, I don’t want to be unhappy. I want to be peaceful, doing my simple things, knitting my sweaters and socks, cooking our meals, visiting my husband, keeping my home clean, finding joy here. I can’t project what might be down the road, I can’t live the pain now and I can’t take on the new pain. It’s like being in the path of a meteor and knowing that you are, but waiting for it to hit. When it hits, I want to be strong, not weak from battles I have no business being involved in.

So I’m building socks. And I’m reclaiming my life …….. my simple, non-complex and rich life. And waiting for the rains to come ………

Living Simple

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Simple living is the mantra of the moment. It’s almost become complex because there are so many magazine articles, websites and directions on how to live a simple life.

Living without excess consumption was the beginning of the movement toward simplicity. People actively decided not to buy things, to fix or recycle something instead of purchasing something new. By doing that, we free up time because we no longer need to work so hard to buy the things we don’t want or won’t want a week after we get them.

There are other areas besides consumption that can be simplified. I chose years ago to be a stay at home mother. Once my son turned 7, I started working for myself, in the evenings at home and doing groups outside of the home. I hated leaving my house at 6 to do a group. The dread would hang around me for hours. I could have eliminated that dread by spending less and therefore needing to work less. I know that now.

I am getting done with this life. Oh I may live another 10 or even 20 years, but I am on the way out. And I love it here. I love, for once in my life, being able to direct all my minutes and hours, not have them directed by others or by the demands of earning a living in some way or other, either for myself or by working for someone. I can be the director of my time.

And then there is the simple practice of being mindful. Breathing in and out. Recognizing the moment that you are in, not the past, not the future. Just being here now, doing what you need to do in this moment, not living with regret or expectation. Just being. This is a blessing beyond compare.

And it is difficult to maintain, that living mindfully. Many things will come up that will kick me out of the moment. I will become to attached to an expectation, a desire – I will try to mentally solve all problems that I face, not recognizing that in a few days or even hours, those problems will seem like nothing. Staying in the moment is something.

That practice makes everything flow smoothly. Even if you are angry but yet still mindful, you can love your anger and recognize it. Once you do that, the anger starts to dissipate. But if you feed your anger with past transgressions of the same nature, you form a knot of emotion in you that will come back again and again whenever the same words are used, the same feelings experienced. You cannot refuse to recognize your anger because that just keeps it in you, simmering and waiting for a time to explode. Better it be dealt with mindfully, lovingly and with compassion for yourself.

Another branch of simple living is simple speaking. No matter how close you think you are to someone else, your words can be misunderstood, turned around, pointed back at you. It is much better to have a comforting response to someone else’s issues, but to not embark upon trying to alleviate their suffering. They must alleviate their own suffering, it is not up to me to do this for them. And in fact it just provokes anger, maybe not in the moment, but those words will be remembered, they will come back and they will not be what you meant at all. Better to speak simply in the moment and let the healing be done by the other person on their own.

And so that’s the simple living prescription …….. I think I should print this out and stick this on my refrigerator. I need simple, I truly do.