Does it Really Matter?


Everyone, at one time or another, has a problem. Any kind of problem, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, any old kind of problem.

Stop and think, if you are one of the people with a problem at this moment, stop and think how important this problem will be to you in a week, a month, next year. It won’t be important. It will be in the past, a place you don’t live, if you live mindfully in the moment right now and right then.

I must say being an extremely psychic person makes me nervous. I get nervous when I feel what I call the undertow. There is a feeling that something is going to happen, that there is nothing I can do about this something and actually, that there is nothing I should do about this something.

And then, inevitably, the something occurs. It can be something affecting all of us or just something affecting me, my life, not important at all in the great scope of the Universe. But before it affects me, it makes me nervous.

Once the undertow has delivered its meaning to me, the nervousness goes away. I become extraordinarily calm, complacent even. Because in that moment that the undertow reveals the problem to me, it also reveals the solution. My happiness hinges on not owning the problem, but on owning the solution.

There have been factors in my life over the last 4 years that have brought me to a place where I have to learn to live with uncertainty. My husband, who first began to show signs of his terminal illness many years ago, became much worse 4 years ago. He began with a bad episode of shingles, all over his head. He complained of pain so bad on his head that he could not sleep for days. Of course I took him to the doctor who ordered a CAT scan. The doctor missed the breaking out of blisters on my husband’s head. We don’t go to that doctor any longer.

After the CAT scan on a Friday, by Saturday the blisters were all over the right side of his head and were starting to weep. It was then that I took him to the ER and where he had an anti-virus medication administered to him intravenously. That ER was the pits and although I have taken him there since, I wouldn’t take a dog there again. That night they discharged him home, leaving the IV in his arm. I had to take him back there to have it removed. How would that look in a malpractice lawsuit? Seriously.

We are now 4 years down the road. He was finally diagnosed in February of 2012. A year and some months later, it was no longer possible for him to be at home. It was no longer safe here, with him crawling up the stairs to go to bed, not able to get out of bed on his own, the multiple things he could no longer do made living in a nursing home the only option.

Well that was hard. And yet, now, we’re going into his 2nd year in the nursing home and he is well taken care of, content with where he’s at. He has been absorbed into the life on the unit, rather than always missing his home. It is good that this has happened, because the poor man had no other choice.

And then I have my own instances of the undertow, involving this that or the other thing. Once whatever is going to happen, happens, I am relieved. I had an undertow the day before last. It was uncomfortable. I felt like some sort of crisis was going to happen. Well, a crisis did not happen. What happened instead was a circumstance that made me take off my rose-colored glasses and see something with pure vision, for once. The blinders were taken off. The situation, which had been making me horribly unhappy for two or three months, was revealed as the sham that it was. I saw the complete truth. And wow, it didn’t hurt! I had been resisting what I knew to be good for me because I didn’t want to feel pain …….. and when that situation resolved itself, showed itself to be the nasty, manipulative situation it was, there wasn’t any pain. There was only immense relief.

So if you stop, take a look at what is coming toward you or what you think your current crisis might be, just quit resisting. You might find, like I did yesterday, that the after effects of the undertow are actually quite pleasant. Not all undertows portend unhappiness ……….. sometimes they bring just what is needed. Peace.

Trio No. 3

upsieToday you can write about anything, in whatever genre or form, but your post must mention a dark night, your fridge, and tears (of joy or sadness; your call). Feel free to switch one ingredient if you have to (or revisit one from previous trio prompts).

Another prompt has come along, making me think, making me bend my mind around it, get into it, see where I can take it, move it, make it mine. Some of these prompts are ones that are difficult for me, like really my fridge won’t make me cry on a dark night.

What will make me cry, exactly? That is something wonderful to explore and so I’m going to tell you about the things that make me cry, in no particular order, you can guess whether I cry with joy or sadness ……..

  1. Darkness can make me cry if I am trying to read and my light on my Kindle goes out. It hasn’t so I haven’t had to cry about that. That’s good.
  2. My cat can make me cry (I borrowed this from the other trio) when she grabs my hand in her mouth and pulls it down with her claws. These are tears neither of joy or sadness, but pure pain. She is vicious.
  3. People who are untrustworthy can make me cry, but only because I can’t stick them in a fridge on a dark cold night and watch them slowly freeze to death. That would make me laugh if I could do it, but since you can’t do that in polite society, I can’t do either.
  4. Seeing the American flag can make me cry, especially when I was in the god-forsaken excuse for a place to live known as Prince Edward Island. Believe me, visit there if you must, don’t ever try to be a human being on that Island for any reason.
  5. Having to rip out a sock and start over makes me cry. It is so boring to do k2p2 ribbing. Which you have to do to start a sock so when I rip out I get to do 12 rows of that horrid stitch again.

Well, that’s about all that can make me cry. I don’t cry a lot. I can do other things better than I do crying. Crying is for babies. I am not a baby.

The Jupiter Hit


I spent more time reading today, doing a little here and there, nothing heavy. Except when I was looking over my chart, in conjunction with reviewing my reading …….. and then I started to laugh.

Today, transiting Jupiter sat himself right down on top of my natal Pluto.  This is an intense aspect, one that will last quite a while, Jupiter not being a fast-moving planet. In his book “Astrological Aspects the Art” Robert Thibodeau explains this transit as:

This transit reveals the need to rid yourself of people, things and situations that hold you back from growing and learning ……. this is a time for introspective reevaluation of self, intentions and extensions. Good time for a retreat, a change of home or fixing up the home, repairing and restoring things, checking the plumbing and furnace and learning to cook up something for better health and prosperity.” Robert Thibodeau

Well, yes to the first three. There were people, things and situations that were holding me back. They were definitely not making my life pleasant, that’s for sure. And I know me, if something  or someone isn’t making my life joyful, what’s the point, exactly? And the things I rid myself of early in October with my auction. It was such a positive move for me, now having my house straightened up, the basement and attic empty ……. room to breath. And those people, with them being gone I will also have room to breath.

In my reading today, Gyatso talked more about loving others more than you love yourself. How many times have you encountered that in this world? Honestly, although I have met some very fine people, I haven’t come across that all that often.

He says that it will take years to get to the point where you can love others, while still not loving the delusions they have. He said we are to separate the delusion creating difficulty from the person and that there are no bad people, just deluded people.

In light of the last few months, I mulled that over in my meditation. I can see in that teaching the teaching that someone would use when they said “It’s not you I’m angry with, it’s the behavior.” I am an all grown-up person, so I do have difficulty separating bad acts from bad actors. I always look for the motivation – what is it that this person or that person expects to gain from acting in that manner? And unless they are saints, there is always a motive.

Since I was tasked with actually thinking rather than reacting by Robert during the reading, the past, the people, things and situations which need to be removed from my experience have to be greeted with as much joy as would the birth of a child or the arrival of an old friend for a visit. These people, things and situations have served their purpose. There is no more purpose for them in my life and in fact they start doing the opposite of showing purpose and instead block purpose in my spiritual path. They begin to create problems, disharmony and distractions from my purpose, my path. Time for them to go, as gently as I can remove them.

In relationship with others, which is how Gyatso says we grow spiritually, we are to learn to love everyone. As Robert said, love a thousand times more but don’t become fixated on the container. Don’t, in other words, tie yourself down.

The reading was remarkable in several ways. Robert saw around me a relationship, perhaps an important relationship from a former life. He also saw that it wasn’t going to work out in this lifetime either. Horrible to think I will have to go through that again. I must say I’m praying that with blessing, forgetting and letting it go I can be spared any future karmic resolution. Best to resolve it now, and get it totally out of my way.

Robert also told me that I couldn’t believe anything with transiting Uranus conjunct my natal Moon,  both of them opposite my natal Saturn, Jupiter conjunct Pluto and my natal Sun square transiting Uranus. He told me that no relationship was going to work out unless it was timed for next spring. Well, he’s right. I knew he was that night. I even expected that this is what he would say, earlier in the day, before the reading.

The most positive thing about having a reading, is the light at the end of the tunnel. With my hard aspects over the last 3 years, we could use some light here. Maybe a teensy flashlight or something, not an explosion – thanks very much. The most positive thing is that once I am through with these aspects ……… going on from now to the spring, I will be in a place where all that I want will come to me, but in a form that I can take. And Robert said that those positive aspects would last for many, many years. That’s so good to contemplate, after going to hell and back, after living with Pluto conjunct my Sun, cleaning out the clutter in my life with an Atom bomb,  after being the caregiver, the giver to all, the one on the hot seat, the controller of the small part of my universe. It is good to know that there is an end to the aloneness, the lack of anything and the seeming lack of cooperation with my inner and outer planets.

So in the spring, things will look up. And I was given the means to wait out these last vestiges of change and major transformation …….. the books, the study, the research and the learning.

As Robert calls it, the Soular system is about to start granting wishes ………. and I’m a lucky person because in my chart there’s an aspect that grants the native with that aspect 3 magical wishes. I won’t waste them ………

Supper Tonight

I would show you a luscious picture of my supper, but I haven’t cooked it yet. Dinner is resting, preparing itself for the treatment it’s going to get.

I have the tofu between layers of paper towels with a teakettle full of water on top. This is draining the tofu so it won’t be like mush. I do like crisp tofu.

The rice is doing its non-thing in the rice cooker. I’ll turn it on when I start frying the tofu. For the tofu will be fried and then glazed, in a nice Korean barbecue sauce and served over that rice.

The onion still needs chopping, the garlic minced. I have some cabbage to pull out and slice fine to add to the tofu as it begins to brown. The cabbage will add the extra touch, the crispness and flavor I like in my Asian inspired meals.

And just to add a little bit of color, the famous Greek roasted red peppers will come out and get added too – making the meal look a little like Christmas. I will finish the tofu with sesame seeds ……. of which I have several thousand organic ones just waiting in the freezer to be eaten.

It is the end of the month. The end of the month always sees me cooking, rather than heating up. I get to heat up at the first of the month, and I’m always ready for that kind of cooking, although I shouldn’t be. It would be great if I could maintain my Rachael wants to cook attitude the whole month, but seriously I have a lot I like to do and I take turns concentrating on one or the other.

I had a bit of an epiphany the other day. I washed my socks. These were the ones I made smaller, thinking the others were too big. Well, not if you wash them. They shrink a teensy bit and the ones I made smaller are just a bit short in the foot, a bit short in the cuff. So now I know, experienced knitter than I am not, that I can just do the pattern as written and all will be well.

I’ve finally separated the back of the sweater from the front and I’m working on the front now. 5.5 more inches of stockinette and I’ll be ready to do the detail on the shoulders and neck. Then I move to the back stitches. At this point in a sweater, I always look at my yarn that is left and go oh no I may not have enough. I’m going to order another skein or two and since it’s a hand-dyed blend, if it doesn’t exactly match, no harm done. I can always do two rows of the old and two rows of the new to make them blend together. Plus this is my sweater and there isn’t anyone who’s going to point to me and go EUW it doesn’t match!

I finished my binge watching of Last Tango in Halifax last night. Such a remarkably good how that I hated to see it end. I kept thinking there were 3 seasons until I finished season 2 last night. Of course there’s only 2! So I guess I’m impatiently waiting the next season to begin ………

It will be November on Saturday. Two more months and I will have my birthday – and my gift this year will be the return of Downton Abbey. I’m not sure I liked last year as much as the others. The constant presence of one suitor or another in Mary’s life was rather unrealistic. And to have them all hanging on her every word and deed was unbelievable. She’s a woman with money, true, but she’s also a woman with a dead husband she adored. So breaking into the shell she has around her will take some doing. One can only hope Matthew had a lost twin brother who comes to carry her away ………….


The Intuitive Mind

PIA15079“Roam in the world as a lion of self-control; see that the frogs of weakness don’t kick you around.” 
― Paramahansa Yogananda

We all come into this existence with certain gifts which come natural to us and with certain limitations in others. Discovering your gift, the gift only you have in your own special way, is your Dharma, your life path.

When my son was little, I began instructing him in the ways of spirit. I did not expose him to a traditional Christian upbringing, but rather trained him in the ways of self-realization. We could say this has worked well in his life, as he came to this incarnation with challenges others his age did not have to meet.

As he aged and grew, the resilience of spirit, of constant meditation, allowed him to strengthen his spiritual growth. I could see remarkable “knowing” in him that I did not have at his age. At his age, I was still struggling with my way in the world, not wise in what my path would eventually be in this incarnation.

From the age of 18, my intuitive self again came to the forefront of my life, much as it had when I first entered my teenage years. There were significant changes around me, both those in my birth home and those in my innermost self. Relationships with others came and went and one came and went and came back and came back until I was smart enough to not allow that influence back into my life. It was not a healthy relationship for me.

My weakness at the time was one of not wanting to change in myself. I didn’t want to be the one taking ultimate responsibility for creating my life. The subsequent struggle between my inner and outer life and their total incompatibility, made me change quickly. My desire to tolerate discord between my higher Self and my lower self, led me to find my spiritual path.

And now where am I on this path? Well the road is broadening. There is a wider path for me than in the past. I have the leisure, since I no longer am required to work, to enhance my spiritual growth in ways I haven’t before had. There are no limits.

And a strange thing has happened. I quit giving readings to people back in 1993 when the time to do those readings conflicted with my need to help my family. It was right for me, at the time, to cease giving readings.

And now I find that others are asking me to read them. They are in a place where they need counsel and I am once again in a place where I can give it. Back in 1993 Uranus was just coming off a conjunction with my Sun. Now it is square my Sun and conjunct my Moon. My willingness to move over for my guides is back. I can now again be a force for good as a reader, a counselor.

And all of this intuition, this intuition that I have that is highly developed, this also leads me to study, to learn more to explore more. It also gives me the ability to deal with minor and major crises in my life that are just life …….. with a calm, self-controlled spirit.

The world of the planets has impacted my natal chart this year in ways it was impacted 28 years ago. I was only 34 at the time. I was still a young woman, one who was finding out what she wanted and what she needed in relationships. There was an important relationship at that time, and much good was gained from it. It wasn’t meant to last, but was just a bright spot in a life that had been given over to duty, responsibility, strife with other people’s children and work. My life back then was all work.

And now? Now I can forego the work. I know who I am, what I’m here for and how I see my life going forward. To have finally arrived firmly on my path …….. that is the gift of my intuitive mind.

Neptunus Horoscope for October 2014

PIA14944_hiresYesterday you invented a new astrological sign. Today, write your own horoscope — for the past month (in other words, as if you’d written it October 1st).

October presents a challenging month for you Neptunians. The month will start with much increased activity in your 4th house and major changes in the structure of your home life.

While this may seem like you are losing something you valued, it is rather a transformation of your present so that you can move forward in your life without excess baggage. Whatever you lose during the first week in October was not meant to stay with you, be it relationships or things.

When the Lunar Eclipse hits the astrological chart on October 8, you will find new direction. It will be as if a match was struck to the rocket that is your life. You may feel you have been given much personal knowledge to carry through the rest of your year and on into many years ahead. You will have difficulty in relationships that have been tested in September, and how you deal with those difficulties will largely depend upon their importance in your future life. Do not be surprised if you are surprised about something as it is more of an acknowledgment of what you already knew.

As you go forward in October, you have a small resting period between the 8th and the 23d. But Mercury went retrograde on October 4 in your 7th house of other people, marriage and relationships. There may be conflicts in relationships that began back in September but still have no resolved themselves. Be careful not to overreact to situations involving others this month because you will be unable to be diplomatic if you become angry. Don’t forget the 7th house is also enemies, so you must guard against someone who would take advantage of you and your naturally good nature.

The partial Solar Eclipse on the 23rd of the month will bring the watery depths of your emotions to the forefront. It is important at this time that you do not lose your footing. Keep in mind that whatever or whoever comes into your life now, easy come, easy go.

After the 29th something may occur in your personal life that causes you to re-evaluate a relationship. Be assured that if the relationship is not right for you, the Universe will make changes.

All together, October will bring many surprises. Just batten down the hatches and wait for November when much will be made clear.

Today’s Cooking Adventure


Wow this blog posting tool doesn’t work well at all. Please revise it WP please.

Anyway my cooking adventure today begins with putting on Songs from the Road by Leonard Cohen. Everything goes well with Leonard. Not that I’m obsessed or anything. Well, yes I am.

Anyway, today’s cooking adventure feels a bit selfish. I am making something that only I will eat. Too bad. My son could eat it, if he wasn’t totally against beans in any form, except for soy beans that have been manufactured out of the reality of bean hood. Those he’ll eat.

I’m making my famous Vegetarian Chili. I’m going to have to eat this for at least a week, or else find something to freeze a bunch of it in. You can’t cut a can of tomatoes in half, you know? And besides, this is how I make it and it is how I will always make it.

You will need:

  1. 8 oz of tempeh or vegetable protein “ground beef” (I prefer tempeh)
  2. 2 cans of black beans – don’t drain them unless you bought a really cheap brand and they are bathed in salt water.
  3. 1 large 28 oz can diced tomatoes
  4. 2 cans tomato paste
  5. water – approximately 4 cups
  6. 1 large onion
  7. 5 cloves of garlic
  8. 3 T of chili powder, divided
  9. 2 T cumin

Chop the tempeh or ground protein and put it in a large soup pot. Saute this for a few minutes, until it’s getting a little crispy around the edges.

Add the chopped onion to the pan and let the two items cook until the onion is translucent. Add 2T of each chili powder and cumin and let the spices cook. These are spices that benefit from a nice saute in your pan.

Add the 5 cloves of garlic, minced. Watch the pot because you don’t want these browning at all. Brown garlic is horrid and will ruin your meal.

The minute the garlic gets fragrant, add the can of diced tomatoes. Stir in the tomato paste and enough water to make the consistency of the chili the way you like it. I like mine on the thin side so I add more water than you might like.

Add another tablespoon of chili powder. Let the chili come to a boil and then turn it down and let it simmer for an hour or more. Adjust the liquid if necessary.

This could feed 8 hungry adults given they like beans. Some fantastic additions are cheddar as you serve it, a side of cornbread or some homemade tortillas for dipping into the chili.

If you are cold today, you won’t be if you eat this ……… you will be warm all over. And you can listen to Leonard at the same time.


Bangor’s Getting Some Attention


Seems the governor’s race here is close. I had heard over the weekend that LePage had pulled ahead quite a bit and that Michaud didn’t have much of a chance.

He may not have much of a chance after tonight. Governor Chris Christie will campaign with Lepage at the Quirk Auto Park and then go off to a fundraiser.

AUGUSTA, Maine — New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie will head to Maine for the fourth time this election season on Tuesday evening for campaign appearances with incumbent Republican Gov. Paul LePage.

Christie, chairman of the Republican Governors Association and a potential 2016 presidential candidate, will stump with LePage at a car dealership and at a campaign fundraiser, both in Bangor.

I imagine there will be many quips, maybe even the mention of our Bear Ballot Initiative, the one where hunters have to at least give the semblance of being humane in their inhumane killing of bears.

Okay, I know a large bear population isn’t a good thing. I wouldn’t want them coming out of the Maine woods, looking for food. I wouldn’t want them walking down Main Street as if they own the place, but I don’t want them killed. Especially not Mama Bears and maybe not even Papa Bears. Those little bears deserve a family too, right?

It will be interesting to see who wins the governor’s race a week from today. LePage has done a great job of getting our budget in order and he has angered many who relied upon handouts to function in this state. We are not a wealthy or populous state, for all the beauty of the land. We have less than 1.5 million people in the whole state. We hardly rate a glance from Washington, D.C. except for Susan Collins – and she is most visible during elections ……

Mike Michaud has been our congressman for as long as I’ve been in Maine and I’m sure much longer. He has done a good job for us, I think, but he is in the minority and doesn’t have the scope to get things done in the House for Maine. He is, however, a Democrat. That is the first and only thing I can point to that makes his election as governor unlikely.

Mainers are mostly independent. But there comes a time when even Mainers are sick of the status quo. And why would anyone want to bring Washington, D.C. to Augusta to live? No reason I can think of, none at all.


comet in capricornusYou’re tasked with creating a brand new astrological sign for the people born around your birthday — based solely on yourself. What would your new sign be, and how would you describe those who share it?

I was born on the 10th day of Christmas. if you go by the old song, we are gifted with 10 lords a leaping on that date. Whatever. We are really not gifted then, because no one wants to even think of one more present to get, to decide upon, to buy.

My new Zodiac sign would be called Neptunus for the discovery of Neptune in the astronomical constellation in 1846. In Greek mythology, the constellation is sometimes identified as Amalthea, the goat that suckled the infant Zeus after his mother, Rhea, saved him from being devoured by his father, Cronos. The goat’s broken horn was transformed into thecornucopia or horn of plenty. Capricornus is also sometimes identified as Pan, the god with a goat’s head, who saved himself from the monster Typhon by giving himself a fish’s tail and diving into a river.[3] The planet Neptune was discovered in Capricornus by German astronomer Johann Galle, near Deneb Algedi (δ Capricorni) on September 23, 1846, which is appropriate as Capricornus can be seen best from Europe at 4:00am in September.

And so we would all be Neptunian. We would be ethereal, idealistic, psychic. We would walk in the world, but not be of the world. Our lives could be frittered away with daydreams and fantasies, but because we are so magical, we can apply ourselves to the betterment of mankind as no other astrological sign can.

Naturally we are somewhat gullible, seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. We do have to guard against those who would flock to our orbit, thinking that if only they can stick to us long enough, our psychism and compassion will wear off on them. We must not allow ourselves to be vampirized of energy, because the energy we have is there for all of us, not for just a few of us.

We can become depressed if we do not pull back from the temporal world on a daily basis. We are the sign that must meditate for our health. We cannot sustain constant participation in a world that makes no sense to us. Therefore, we create our own worlds, the world where we feel at peace, mindful and one with the Cosmic Consciousness.

Our homes are also a direct reflection of our beliefs and seem to be watery, almost, in their colors and furnishings. We appear to be living underwater, resting on the ocean floor, not being tossed back and forth and hitting rocks in our paths. We slip to the bottom as if we were a powerful submarine and the world is unable to draw us back into the suffering, the constant churning of emotions in which others participate. Our emotions are calm, peaceful, mindful.

Should we be angered by injustice or infidelity, we will first experience pain. But then, even though we are the most dreamlike of all signs, we will anger. Our anger will be like that of a tidal wave. It will wash out anything in our lives that is not just and good. We will not live in a world where we are made angry or disappointed for long.

And yes, we are all beautiful people. We have a quality of the water about our physical selves. We walk light on the Earth, seeming to glide from place to place in what looks like a day-dream. It isn’t. We are the most aware of signs. We do know where we are, who we are and why we are ……. we just live from the inside out and not from the outside in.

If we are a negative formation of this sign, we will always be disappointed in everything that happens. Nothing will ever been just right, good enough and nothing and no one will make us happy. We will find fault at every turn. We will not be able to love or show compassion to others, if we are a negative Neptunian. Instead we will think only of ourselves, measure every act by our own yardsticks and tell those around us how they have failed us.

This is an unhappy way to live. We will be given labels for the way we act, but the labels mean nothing. They are just a description of our actions that make others feel sorry for us. As if we have this excuse for being negative, nasty and narcissistic. We will welcome that label, for it excuses all of our behaviors and we can believe that we are right and everyone else flawed.

Each sign carries the option of living as a loving, giving, caring, more highly evolved member of the sign, or as the negative manifestation. A Neptunian must choose carefully, for otherwise we will face many lifetimes of sorrow, until we get it right. And until we live by bringing our daydreams to material reality.